以食为天

“妍，出外时要好好跟着爸爸和妈咪喔！”

妍妍没有反应。

“不然会给坏人抓掉！”

妍妍继续翻她手上的书。

“坏人才不会像爸爸和妈咪对你那么好。”

妍妍还是无动于衷。

“坏人不给你吃东西！”

“不要！我要吃！”

走了

10月25日早晨，妈妈突然走了。匆匆返回家乡陪她走完人世间的最后一程。打斋时，怎么想都是思念；空气中飘荡着的诵经声，怎么听都是伤感。

11月8日早晨，其他人走了，坐在酒店房间窗前，天空阴沉沉，树枝随风摆动，怎么看都是无奈；笔记本电脑播着一首首歌，怎么听都是失落。

Learning ABC

What is this?
N - nest

What is this?
A - apple

What is this?
N - nest

What is this?
C - U (well, maybe she thought C is sleeping U)

What is this?
Y - errr (puzzled...)

What is this?
D - dog (quickly)

What is this?
R - ree (ring, OK?)

What is this?
E - ear

What is this?
W - w (finally...)

The 'culprit'? Here it is .

School and Mum Mum

“妍妍，你要去school吗？”
“不要！”
“不要去school，那你要做什么？”
“mum mum！嘿嘿……”

无奇不有

公布考试成绩后，学生来求我网开一面“upgrade”成绩的事每个学期都发生，可是这一次是学生来求我“downgrade”他的成绩。考了一个C的他，求我把他的成绩改为C-，原因是拿了C-就是不及格，不及格就可以重考，就有机会“改善”成绩。这样的情况，本地人说被“炸到”，中国人说被“雷到”……

我发现有些学生似乎把希望寄托在“特别学期”。所谓的特别学期就是在两个“正常”学期之间所开设的“附加”学期。这段时间原本属于长假，但是因为一些学生的几个主要科目考砸了，为了让他们能在预定的期限内完成学业，就增加了“特别学期”让他们重考。

一个“正常”学期是14个星期，特别学期只有7个星期，属于“浓缩”版。为了不影响学习的素质，目前院方规定特别学期只开放给重考生，也就是说他们已上过至少一个“正常”学期的课，只是考试不及格。因此，特别假期可说是给学生复习和重考的机会。

然而，上个特别学期的教授采取非常宽松的态度，许多在我班上考不及格的学生到了他的班上却考了A或A-。其中一个学生还洋洋得意地告诉我他在我手上拿了C-，重考后得了个A-。后来他看到我又对我炫耀了一次，我笑笑说：“你说过了。”或许他太兴奋了，某天他看到我时又企图重述一遍，我冷冷地说：“你应该知道为何你可以考到A-。”他也静默了。

炸到+雷到=被雷炸到。

Super Fan of Chuck Norris

I couldn't believe I was marking the scripts for a Java programming exam when I opened one of the answer booklets and saw this...

and then these...

Apparently, this was a student who is a super fan of Chuck Norris and had learned C programming. Well, both are old stuff but most students in the class are around 20 years old...

In fact, I know who the student was. During the exam, he just slept at his desk most of the time. I thought I was going to get a blank answer script from him but eventually, I got a little surprise.

一脉相承

重夺失去9年的全辩冠军，说没有兴奋，谁信？不是没有尝过坐在台下看着台上的马大队夺冠，可是这次的心情少了几分激动。

11年前最后一次拿下全辩冠军，之后两次与冠军盾擦肩而过、两次摸不到决赛的门，屡战屡败、屡败屡战，长久的努力终于在今晚收成，照理说应该激动万分才对，可是出乎意料的，我的兴奋包含在平静之中。

13年前，全辩最后一次在DTC上演决赛，今晚的“回归”，早让我心有戚戚焉。

15年前，马大最后一次在DTC捧起全辩冠军盾时，我也在台上。今晚，我在台上看到了自己当年的身影。这是支留着同样血液的队伍，15年了，或许更久，这血液还是一样的热，或许更热了！

是怎样的力量，凝聚着这一支队伍、延续着队伍的精神？是求取胜利吗？若是，这队伍早在连续获得胜利或连续经历失败后，散了。

看着台上的辩手，想着这一路走来的跌宕起伏，心醉了，那还能激动起来？

绝倒考试

一个叫RichardBenson的作家，搜集了许多考试答卷，整理出里头许多让人哭笑不得的答案，编成了一本叫F in Exams: The Funniest Test Paper Blunders的书。在这和大家分享几个例子：

1. (Q) What is a nitrate?

(A) Much cheaper than a day rate.

2. (Q) What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common?

(A) Unusual names.

3. (Q) Steve is driving is car. He is travelling at 60 feet/second and the speed limit is 40 mph. Is Steve speeding?

(A) He could find out by checking his speedometer.

4. (Q) Joanna works in an office. Her computer is a stand-alone system. What is a stand-alone computer system?

(A) It doesn't come with a chair.

5. (Q) Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?

(A) At the bottom.

6. (Q) Explain the phrase 'free press'.

(A) When your mum irons trousers for you.

7. (Q) Where was Hadrian's Wall built?

(A) Around Hadrian's garden.

8. (Q) The race of people know as Malays come from which country?

(A) Malaria.

还有这两个够“经典”的……

(Q) Name the wife of Orpheus, whom he attempted to save from the underworld.

(A) Mrs Orpheus.

(Q) Name six animals which live specifically in the Arctic?

(A) Two polar bears. Three Four seals.

A Huge Thank U

早上进入办公室之前，向信箱里望了一下，看见里面有一张粉红色的卡片和一包“吉百利”巧克力。心里有些纳闷：是谁送礼来了？

打开信箱，卡片是一张A4纸对折而成的，上面写着“A HUGE THANK U DR. CTK”。卡片显然是自制的。

打开卡片一看，左边有一个用Java编写的class，它是这么写的：

package Lab_1;

import java.util.*;

public class Main {

public static void main(String[] args) {

System.out.println("Thank you so much!!");

System.out.println("Finally we PASS...:-)");

if (not because of your guidance)

System.out.println("Extend sem");

else

System.out.println("Currently doing thesis 1");

System.out.println("We are so thankful");

}

}

*DONT RUN THIS CODING. DEFINITELY GOT ERROR(TT)

看到这里，我不禁哑然失笑，这肯定是Data Structures课的学生了。再看卡片的右边，写着：

“ENJOY THE CADBURY. WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO GIVE, THIS IS THE BEST WE CAN THINK OF."

下面是两个学生的署名。印象中到上个学期为止，她们已经是第三次报考我教的这个科目，好不容易终于过关了，兴奋的心情可想而知。

Data Structures是学院里本科生的其中一个核心科目，考不过会大大影响学生们学习的进程。数个学期以来，已有好多学生栽在这个科目上，如何教和严宽之间的拿捏始终让我头疼。上个学期我尝试了不同的教学方式，再观察学生的表现，最后的成果还算让人满意。

其实，学生学得好、考得好，老师的兴奋是不亚于他们的。